Comparing Ourselves To Others Sets Us Up For Failure

I woke up this morning, got online, and discovered a peer of mine was running a workshop that is well-received enough that others are flying in to take it. I could have been joyful for her success, but instead, in about 5 seconds I spiraled into an old pattern of comparison that shifted my happy morning energy into an ‘I’m not enough’ state of being.  We all have our mental cancers that sneak in and take us by surprise…even after years of self-growth and mindfulness practice. The practice of mindfulness in daily life is not directed at reaching a state of perfection, rather it is the pause that allows us to become compassionately aware of what is. The practice of Maitri (loving-kindness) is the softening that pulls us out of the poisoning story we feed ourselves, the ‘I’m not enough’ that is a knife to our soft and tender hearts. So, I pause, I send love and caring to my vulnerable ‘I am not enough’ part, and in doing so, I let go of the comparison and the story. In entering into compassionate relationship with the ‘I’m not enough’, I expand my compassion to all others who have an ‘I’m not enough’ part. In that expansion, I come to understand that it is not my ‘I’m not enough’ story, it is ours. I lose the ego illusion of isolation and experience myself connected to the wider experience of us. Mindfulness and Maitri practices help us to soften, to live in a more loving space, and to connect us to the Bigger Something of all conscient human beings. I do practice mindfulness and Maitri to deepen my spirituality, but ultimately, I practice because it makes me feel better. I could have let that 5 seconds dictate my emotional state for the entire day, but instead, in just a few minutes I am solid and happy, and thoroughly thrilled for my peer’s success.

Sabrina Santa Clara

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