Often what causes our own suffering is our inability to tolerate our emotional states. We have trouble tolerating extreme or uncomfortable emotions such as grief, sadness, anger, and even some of the more positively associate emotions like joy. We also often have difficulty tolerating too much physical sensation, such as pain, pleasure, and sexual feelings. In addition, many of us have a difficult time tolerating ambiguity and paradox, two things we are guaranteed to have plenty of in a lifetime. This inability to tolerate makes our lives very uncomfortable, and keeps us from staying grounded.
Emotion Modulation refers to the intensity with which we feel things. Someone who has difficulty modulating emotions might, for example, have a simple conflict with a spouse, but the emotional response to that minimal conflict might be experienced as if a divorce is imminent. Emotional dysregulation can be rooted in a variety of causes such as trauma and hormonal / biological imbalance.
I work with people to help them modulate their emotional responses and to slowly build their tolerance to uncomfortable emotions and sensations.