Always doing our best doesn’t mean we need to get trapped in the rigidness of perfectionism, because the reality is that our best will change from day-to-day. If I am grieving or depressed, my best might be just getting up and taking a shower. Doing our best allows us to feel both satisfaction and self-respect. When we don’t do our best we often suffer from regret and self-judgment. Understanding that our best changes from day-to-day allows us to not waste our time or energy in self-judgement.
When I was in grad school for counseling we learned that the best parent is the good-enough parent. Good enough parents are not perfect. They get frustrated, resentful, and overwhelmed; They are fully human. When parents are perfect parents, their kids never learn to self-regulate; They never learn how to handle disappointment or that relationships can have ruptures and that those ruptures can be repaired. As a previous perfectionist, I took the idea and ran with it. I learned how to be the ‘good-enough’ student, the ‘good-enough’ yogini, and the ‘good-enough’ partner. When we accept that on a difficult day, our best may be limited, we surrender to the idea that we can be good-enough. We can accept our limitations and do our best within those limitation. As that even with those limitations we are good. We are good-enough to receive self-love. We are good-enough to not self-critique. And if we’re good-enough, then we are worthy.
May you do your best each day. May you have compassion on yourself when your best is less than you would like. May you have compassion upon others when their best is limited. May you know peace.
Sabrina Santa Clara ~ Authentic Alchemy x3
Spiritual Counseling ~ Temecula, CA