I write these blogs not just because I’m an educator, but because I also need to remind myself what I already know. We don’t live in a world that cultivates awareness, mindfulness, gratitude and a whole host of other qualities that remind us that we are whole human beings with loving hearts and growing spirits. We live in a world that cultivates consumerism, hyper-individualism that leads to isolation, the sacrificing of ethics to what is legal, fear, etc. I’ve been thinking about the last blog I posted in which I talked about the reason why we often don’t accomplish our goals is that we haven’t actually decided to do so – we wish, hope, dream, intend – but none of those are equivalent to deciding. I have become aware that although I am accomplishing many goals, there are two I’ve been stuck around. It has become clear to me it’s because I really haven’t decided to do them – I’ve intended, fantasized and hoped, but not decided. When I decided to do something, the doing of it naturally follows. My understanding of ‘deciding’ is not new to me, but I’d forgotten it a bit somewhere along the way.
Learning is often like that. We learn something. We incorporate it, then it softens over time. We then have to relearn it again, and again, on a deeper level each time around. Our relationship to ourselves and our relationship to our spouses/partners are really similar. In the first stage of marriage, love is more emotional in nature. Then we go through a rough patch, come out on the other side, and the love we feel is deeper and more based in reality than our fantasy of who we believe our partner to be. Every year we have ups and downs that deepen the way we love our partners so that at year 10 our love is more deeply grounded. ,While there is still emotion, it is rooted more in a life built together, deeper understanding, and greater knowingness. So it is with our own relationship with ourselves. Self-awareness and self-growth are not linear paths. We never fully arrive at perfection; We are an ever evolving species. Self-growth has been compared to an onion. We learn, we grow, we think we’re done with the lesson, but a year or two or ten later, we seem to be working on the same issue that we thought we were complete with. Each time around we work through another layer; We deepen our experience and build upon the knowledge and wisdom previously gained.
I’ve been absent from blogging these last few days as I’ve been simplifying – including cleaning out my ridiculous amount of books and in that weeding out came across The Four Agreements. The Four Agreements is one truth system that I lived and breathed for a good while, and it’s still an undercurrent. But, perhaps another layer of the onion is called for. Perhaps you’ll join me on this journey. Stay tuned for the next four blogs as we unwrap the four agreements needed to have more love and happiness in your life:
- Be Impeccable with your word.
- Don’t take anything personally.
- Don’t make assumptions.
- Always do your best.
May you remember the deep wisdom and learning that is already yours. May that wisdom soften your own suffering and the suffering of others.
Sabrina Santa Clara ~ Authentic Alchemy x3
Spiritual Counseling ~ Temecula, CA